Protecting Yourself and Your Children from Narcissistic Abuse at Christmas Time
Christmas should be a time for celebration and festivities. For those who experience narcissistic abuse at Christmas the holiday can be a very challenging, stressful time, especially when it comes to child arrangements. Narcissistic abuse thrives on control and emotional reactions. The festive season is a perfect opportunity for the abuser to control and try to reassert their power.
Why Christmas Can Escalate Narcissistic Abuse
Instead of peace and enjoyment, the holiday can become a space for conflict and manipulation. The narcissist may create a contentious situation using a variety of methods including:
- Passing messages directly through the children
- Withholding the children from you
- Making unreasonable demands such as last minute changes to previous agreed arrangements
- Creating chaos and confusion around handovers
- Not complying with court orders
For the narcissist, child arrangements are about control and often less about the children’s wellbeing and happiness. Children may feel torn between the parents, confused or anxious being in the centre of a hostile environment. There are ways which can be helpful for parents when co-parenting with a narcissist:
- Try to keep arrangements in writing, especially close to Christmas
- Keep messages short and factual to avoid the other parent attempting to reel you into conflict
- Set boundaries and decide in advance what you will and won’t do
- Let go of the ‘perfect Christmas’ thought and if you aren’t seeing your children on Christmas Day this year celebrate on a different day or be surrounded by your family, friends or support network
How Mediation Can Help in High-Conflict Situations
Many parents feel alone and overwhelmed trying to cope with narcissistic abuse around the holiday season. If arrangements break down, you may wish to seek support. Family Mediation can provide a structured, neutral space to discuss arrangements and protective measures can be put in place when dealing with a high conflict personality. If mediation is unsuccessful, you may need to consider applying to the court for a Child Arrangements Order which can provide consistency for you and the children.
Consilia Legal has a highly experienced team of specialist mediators and solicitors who can discuss and help parents through such difficult times.
If you’re worried about how you are going to cope over the Christmas period and would like some confidential, pragmatic advice, contact us. You can call us on 0113 322 9222 or email enquiries@consilialegal.co.uk
You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
It is important to remember that you do not have to deal with a narcissistic partner alone. Isolation is often a key part of narcissistic abuse, and reaching out for support can be a vital step towards protecting yours and your children’s emotional wellbeing. Trusted family members, friends, support groups, and professional services can offer perspective, reassurance and practical help during what can feel like an overwhelming time. Talking about your experience, even a little, can reduce the emotional burden and remind you that you are not alone.