Family mediation is a progressive form of alternative dispute resolution and is ideal for families who hope to maintain an amicable approach to divorce and separation. It involves a trained mediator who is a neutral and independent specialist and facilitates a series of meetings between two separating parties. The mediator aims to assist fair and balanced discussions that explore options with a view to resolving issues such as dividing joint assets, agreeing ongoing financial support and working out child arrangements. Mediation ensures the separating couple maintain control over the outcome of discussions, but how do those discussions work?
A great benefit of mediation is that the process is flexible and can be tailored to the parties. The separating parties can talk face-to-face with each other throughout or they can be in separate rooms for part or all of the session. There is also the option to have the parties’ solicitors present for legal advice and further support. These personalised options can reduce tension and conflict and assist parties to reach mutual solutions much quicker than through formal court proceedings where the law takes matters out of the family’s hands. It can also be a more cost effective approach. But it is important that separating couples understand the process and what benefits it brings. It is possible that mediation won’t work for some people, and one of the main purposes of the first mediation meeting, known as the Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM), is to establish whether mediation is the right way to proceed.
What is a MIAM?
This is an initial meeting where the two parties meet separately with the mediator. In each meeting, the mediator will explain how the mediation process works and will ask some questions to establish whether the process is safe and suitable for you. It is necessary for both parties to attend their individual MIAM meeting before the mediation process properly begins.
As mediation is a voluntary process, both parties have to agree to take part. If the parties are in agreement and the mediator is satisfied that mediation is safe and suitable, they can proceed to the first joint mediation session.
What happens during a MIAM?
- The process – The mediator will explain how mediation works and what benefits the couple will gain from it, compared to court proceedings or other forms of dispute resolution. This will involve explaining that discussions must remain confidential, and will also involve explaining the circumstances in which it might be agreed that mediation isn’t working, and how the process can be brought to an end. In this respect, both parties will be reminded that mediation is a voluntary process and they must remain committed in order for it to continue. The mediator will also explain practical issues such as times, dates, locations and costs.
- Information – In this initial meeting the mediator needs to gather as much information as they can about your situation, circumstances and what issues you are seeking to resolve. You can briefly explain your assets, job status and child arrangements and can broadly outline what you are hoping to agree on, without going into great detail. You can also raise any concerns you have at this stage, and any barriers you feel may prevent reaching a solution. The mediator should be able to see that there is commonality between what each individual brings to their own MIAM, in terms of marital assets and circumstances, but also in terms of concerns and barriers. Conflicting stories and details could be a red flag in terms of whether meditation would work.
- Questions – The mediator will allow both parties the opportunity to ask their own questions about how the process works, and what outcomes are hoped to be achieved.
- Assessment – Throughout these initial discussions the mediator is able to establish how the two parties are communicating, how emotionally ready they are to discuss details and find agreements, and how likely they are to co-operate, provide information and negotiate constructively. In other words, are they committed to making mediation work? The mediator may consider that there are safeguarding issues, such as signs of domestic abuse or safety risks, which may require more specialist solutions, or they may believe that some of the issues which require resolving are too legally complex to be agreed on in mediation. At the end of the MIAM, the mediator will make an assessment as to whether the mediation process can continue or not.
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What happens after the MIAM?
If the mediator agrees that mediation is an appropriate process for both parties, and both parties agreed with this, then the mediator will prepare a formal agreement and will make arrangements for the first joint meeting. These arrangements will detail what both parties are expected to bring and prepare and what the first joint meeting aims to achieve.
However, in some circumstances, the mediator may decide that mediation isn’t suitable, or one or both parties may not wish to proceed with mediation. In this case the mediator will explain the other options available, such as collaborative law, and will arrange for a MIAM certificate to be issued, which is necessary to prove to courts that both parties have at least considered mediation as a first step in resolving their issues, even if it hasn’t worked.
Professional support with the mediation process
Sam Sinclair is our new family law specialist in our York office and is a trained mediator with experience in resolving disputes amicably for separating couples. Sam comments: “If you are involved in a separation and think you can agree all your formalities amicably, mediation is a positive, way to manage what can be a challenging and emotional process. The MIAM is an essential first step, but is a great way to make the process clear and establish whether both parties are suitable and committed to mediation.”
If you think mediation is a good way to manage your separation, contact our team at Consilia Legal today.
