Separation /Divorce is a difficult time. Everyone has an opinion. Everyone has a view. You may feel stuck in a tunnel and really quite bleak. Where children are involved however it is vitally important that you stress to them the positives of the situation and present the change in a positive light.
Some common “do’s” and “don’t” when helping your children through the process
Do
Try to speak to your children together
Reassure them it isn’t their fault
Speak positively about the other parent and encourage others not to speak negatively in your children’s presence
If you are moving house reassure them re school and friends – try to minimise the change and disruption
Take specialist advice from a family law professional
Speak to your children’s school if your children are struggling/upset – most schools have resources to help children adjusting to new family structures
Consider family mediation if you are finding it difficult making arrangements direct with your ex-partner – family mediators are specifically trained in helping you to reach practical arrangements for the care of your children and also helping you to work upon retaining/re-establishing a dialogue as parents.
Don’t
Argue in front of your children – research commonly shows that parental conflict is more damaging than actual separation. How you as parents behave will determine how your children cope with the change.
Slate your ex-partner in front of your children
Forget your children will have their own feelings about the change – allow them time to express in an age appropriate way how they feel about the other parent
Stop the children seeing your ex –partner unless you have serious welfare /child protection concerns
Get into a war over money and maintenance and use as a bargaining tool re contact/how often your children will stay overnight with your ex-partner
For more information on options upon family breakdown and a free initial telephone consultation contact Sally or Laura on enquiries@consilialegal.co.uk or call now on 0113 357 1315